Bah Humbug

I know 'tis the season and all that, but I can't help but get a little cranky and stressed this time of year. It feels like there's too much to do, and not enough time to do it. And I do resent the fact that I run around like a chicken with my head cut off to make my kids' Christmas extra special, and some freakin' fictional fat guy gets all the glory. Bah humbug indeed. Plus, I have to take care of all the shopping not only for my own side of the family, but A's as well--and they don't even celebrate Christmas! It sure must be nice to be A, to just walk around oblivious to all the behind-the-scenes work and just say, "so, what did we get for my parents?" ARGH! At the end of the day, it's all OK though because I do love this time of year, and I think H and T do, too. I want them to have incredible Christmas memories, because sadly, I don't have any. It's not that I had bad Christmases, it's just that my parents never got into the whole "Santa-is-coming-leave-milk-and-cookies-open-gifts-Christmas-morning" thing so I don't really remember ever believing in Santa. When I was a kid, I remember my mom wrapping gifts in front of me, signing "from Santa" and then handing them to me to place under the tree. She wasn't a Scrooge--Santa just was not part of her culture so was not even on her radar. H and T truly do believe, and I want them to keep that magic and innocence as long as they can, even if Mom is a big Grinch sometimes.

Another Scrooge-y comment: 'Tis the season for terrible misuse of the apostrophe. Don't card companies have an obligation to correct "Happy Holiday's" or "From the Brown's"?

Jiminy Cricket!

Apparently, we have camelback crickets in our basement. A and I have found and smushed about a half dozen of them over the last couple weeks. They are gross little things. As faithful readers of this blog know, I am much less squeamish about critters than I used to be, but these are pretty nasty. They've got super long antennae and these crazy hinged legs that let them hop far and fast.

They've grossed me out so much that I broke down and called the Orkin man today. Apparently, females can lay hundreds of eggs at one time and the thought of walking into the laundry room one night to be confronted by a roomful of these hateful creatures was too much for me.

We just got back from a long weekend in Grand Cayman--it was great, though I did worry that the crickets were multiplying in my basement while we were enjoying sand and surf. H and T both snorkeled, though T was not a huge fan--he likes to do it in the pool, but doesn't like putting his face in the sea water. H made it all the way out to the reef by the beach, but they both got to see some cool fish and underwater life. We also went out to Stingray City, where I once again proved my increased tolerance for critters. I carried both kids while they clung desperately to my neck, legs wrapped around my waist for fear that they might actually touch a stingray. I, on the other hand, let them flop all over me. I don't really consider myself a beach person, but this was a great beach vacation because there was a lot of stuff to do other than sit around on the beach and drink yummy pina coladas.

Random thought of the day: I've heard a lot of people using the phrase 800-pound gorilla in a way that I don't think is correct. I've always thought 800-pound gorilla refers to an industry leader that can throw its weight around--I've come across many of these in negotiating contracts (to wit: "We're Microsoft, and that's just the way we do it"). But recently I've heard it used in the following context, including in a commercial about retirement or something: "Can't ignore the 800-pound gorilla in the room." Is that a correct usage or a bastardization of the original usage? I get the concept, but I always thought it was something else, like maybe the elephant in the room? But not the white elephant, because then we're mixing metaphors again....

Dark Men and Iron Chefs

Enrique Iglesias (who I noticed on his ANTM guest appearance) and Maks from DWTS. Enough said. Clearly, I have a thing for dark-haired men. I was bummed to see Cameron go on DWTS this week, not so much because I'm a huge fan of his, but because I have a bit of a girl-crush on Edyta. She is smokin'!

I was watching the Food Network the other night and saw a commercial for Iron Chef, which showed who won the Next Iron Chef! I guess that's fair since the final episode aired on Sunday, but I haven't had a chance to watch the ti-fauxed episode yet! I've been waiting for a time when I could watch it with the kids, because they love it too. Last night, they had an Iron Chef battle with Play-Doh, and I was the judge. They both used "caviar" but T's dishes were more straightforward (jelly sandwich--don't worry, that's not what had the caviar) while H's dishes had a lot of "lightly sprinkled" and "glazed" going on. Unfortunately, 3 of her dishes looked pretty identical, so T won by a hair.

It's baaaaack!

The Amazing Race is back! I settled in last night to watch with H and T. H very calmly proclaimed that she was not going to root for anyone until she got to know the teams better, whereas every time a team was shown as leading, T yelled "I want them to win!" I could not be happier that Ari and Staella (I'd like to buy one of your extra vowels please) got eliminated. Soooo annoying and stereotypical. I like the New Orleans brother/sister team and Ronald and Christina--good manners go a long way in my book. The Goths surprisingly did not annoy me. And TK and Rachel seemed OK, though his name kept taking me back to my journalism days when we dropped "TK" in copy as a placeholder. I cannot stand all-girl teams that say they are relying on their looks or that they're competitive "like men." Say what? Women can't be competitive? Puh-leeze, they've never seen Pictionary at my house on Christmas Eve. Another thing I can't stand: Whining that the particular task at hand is "the hardest thing I've ever done." You know what? Give birth to an 8.5-lb baby without an epidural and then tell me whether that's still the hardest thing you've ever done. Or traverse halfway across a mountain with a dislocated shoulder. Suck it up people.

The "F" word

As I was lying in bed last night with the kids, watching a ti-fauxed episode of The Next Iron Chef, T turned to me and asked, "do you know what the 'F' word is?" I guess I shouldn't be surprised that kids haven't changed much since when I was a kid, but he's only 5! I told him that I did know what it was, and asked him if he knew, and why he was asking the question. It turns out that his friend told him that the "F" word was a bad word, but didn't actually tell T what it was. But T said he knew, and then (correctly) whispered it to me. He said he just knew--it was in his head. Then H chimed in saying that the "F" word plus "a-n-a" was really bad. I mulled this over and couldn't fathom what "f*ckana" was. I asked her to clarify, and she said, "you know, f*ckin' a." Guess A and I need to watch our language more around the kids.

Speaking of how childhood is the same no matter the generation, H is even telling the same jokes that I heard as a kid. Her latest is about 3 friends named Shut Up, Poop and Manners. Poop and Manners are somehow stuck in the toilet. Shut Up is asked what his name is, and he keeps answering "Shut Up," and then when he's asked where his manners are, he answers "in the toilet with Poop." Or something like that.

Late to the Game

Looks like I'm not nearly as hip as I thought--my kids have been social networking on Webkinz way before I joined Facebook.

S ran the Grand Rapids Marathon today--he didn't qualify for Boston, but he broke 3:20 and is officially faster than his sister. Congratulations S! I'm in full training for the Phoenix half-marathon. I feel good so far, but am going to try to find a training regimen that requires the least amount of actual running.

Suburban white boyz in the hood

We were out to dinner with some friends last night, and they told us that their 6th grade daughter asked what "pimping" was because apparently that is the word du jour among the boys in her class. A bunch of lily white suburban boys walking around with their pants hung low and saying, "what's up homey? that's so pimpin'" is so laughable. Let's drop them off at the Robert Taylor homes and see how badass they feel then. Luckily, H and T are too young to pick up that silly vernacular, but H is starting to talk like a teenager--she has this annoying habit of ending her sentences with an upward inflection, which I know is not uncommon, but it drives me crazy! I told her only questions end on the uptick, so hopefully she will drop this valley girl-esque speech soon.

Speaking of pimping, H's routine for this year's dance recital is to "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown." A downloaded the song to her iPod and printed lyrics for her. Um, the dude owns a Continental and an Eldorado, and packs a gun and a razor in his shoe--wonder what he does for a living and if it's appropriate for H to sing? Yes, both H and T have their own iPods, privileged little monsters that they are. They're not allowed to take them out of the house (they have docks and use them as stereos in their rooms) because they would be lost within 17 minutes. I love music, and I want them to love music, so I'm OK with this. I think I will start making them pay for their own downloads though. H asked for "Lips of an Angel" today, and T asked for "Dreaming of a Broken Heart." He told me that a broken heart is when you have a girlfriend, but she doesn't love you anymore. How the heck does a 5-year-old know that?

Guitar Hero 3 is out today. I haven't even mastered the first 2 yet, but I still want the new one.

Random thought: I made brownies yesterday and used a toothpick to check for doneness. I've had this particular box of toothpicks for probably close to 10 years--the $0.59 price tag is from a store in NYC, so this box moved from our apartment in NYC to our condo in NYC to the burbs of NYC to the burbs of Chicago. How the heck do toothpick manufacturers stay in business? I can't imagine that the profit margin is high on this product, and I'm not anywhere close to getting through 750 toothpicks in 10 years. Or maybe I'm abnormal and most people don't move a $0.59 box of toothpicks among 4 different houses.

Welcome to the 21st Century

So I was out last weekend with a bunch of girlfriends, and one of them mentions that she has a Facebook page or profile or whatever it is that you call it. I've been thinking of putting up my own for a while (while it's been fun cyber-stalking E's crushes using her account, I was thinking my own account would be good for my own legitimate social networking--I'll still use E's to anonymously cyber-stalk), so I went ahead and joined the new century! Is this what all the kids are doing today? Anyway, it's still a bare page and I'll have to get E to help me figure out how to make it "cool" and all that, but at least it's there, and I'll be linking to this blog.

p.s. Love how the blogger spell check doesn't recognize "Facebook" or "cyber"--that'll all change once the entire Internets merges with the Googles.

Love is blind.

Happiness is lying in bed with H and T, watching Dancing With the Stars. Hilarity is H commenting, "Mommy, Daddy couldn't do this because it would be bad for his back, right?" I actually laughed out loud and explained that these were really complicated dances, and these guys were professionals and/or practiced a lot. H persisted, "Well, Daddy's a good dancer, but he couldn't do this because of his back." Aaah, a child's blind devotion to her dad!

I think I finally got rid of the fruit flies, but now we're being inundated by ladybugs. How the heck did they get in the house?

Running with fruit flies

Someone looking into my kitchen tonight might have thought I was doing some interpretive modern dance. In fact, I was trying to kill the dozens of fruit flies that somehow infested my home. I must have killed two dozen by hand (they're fast, but I'm faster and more pissed off) and a measly two in my fruit fly trap (an inch of orange juice in a cup covered by saran wrap which has a few holes poked in--they fly in, but can't get out--I don't think they're known for their intelligence). I know for a fact that there's at least one left, but I hope it gets lured by my trap tonight. Where the heck are they coming from? Do they reproduce asexually? I wish I could remember more from my fruit fly study in high school biology.

So we watched E and S run the Chicago Marathon Sunday. What a miserable day to run--wickedly hot and humid. There's lots of controversy now about race conditions and what should have been done. Here's my $.02: 1) If you're not in shape to run, don't do it. You will take resources away from legitimate runners who may need them. 2) If you're not registered to run, don't do it. See reasoning in (1) above. 3) If it's going to be hot, why not move the race up an hour or two? All racers have to pick up their packets, so you could notify them then. It's not like the heat was a total surprise. 4) Overestimate how much water is needed for both drinking and cooling off. Nobody should be surprised that runners pour water on themselves to cool off. Heck, I did that in a 5K when it was really hot and humid. 5) If it's going to be hot, provide water stations at more frequent intervals--it might be a logistical challenge, but worth a shot.

We saw the elite runners while we were waiting for E and S--I can't imagine running that fast for 26 feet let alone 26 miles. Impressive.

Cute and funny boys

Since Rocco DiSpirito is my obsession du jour, I of course cyber-stalked him today and discovered we share a birthday! Is that a sign or what? And did I ever mention how much I love Wikipedia?

I'm also fascinated by Andy Samberg. He doesn't quite rise to obsession level, but I think he's damn funny. The NYT had a nice article about his "I Ran" video, but personally, I love the High School Musical spoof. H and T are obsessed with HSM, so having been subjected to countless playings of the treacly lyrics and relentlessly upbeat music, I especially got a kick out of the SNL take on it. I even liked these better than "Dick in a Box."

Rocco!

So I watched the Top Chef finale tonight and noticed 3 things: 1) I was really pulling for Hung to win--must be an Asian camaraderie thing--and I admit I got a little teary-eyed when he was hugging his family. 2) Casey has a really big rack. 3) Rocco DiSpirito is smokin' hot. Seriously, I never really thought that until tonight. I never watched his show "The Restaurant" and he never made me sit up and take notice during his other guest appearances on Top Chef. But tonight, he looked awesome--a little Keanu Reeves-esque, and he can now join Keanu Reeves on The List (the third person on the list of three is Michael Vartan). I might even sign up for his Bertolli contest, though nothing can make we watch Michael Vartan's new show.

I ate at Union Pacific years ago and remember being floored by the whole experience, the decor, the meal, everything. I think it was one of the first places I had the now-ubiquitous yuzu. I loved his cooking and, like Anthony Bourdain, hope he opens another restaurant. Especially if it's in Chicago and if he actually cooks in the kitchen. Naked. Just kidding (sort of).

So excited for Top Chef in Chicago next season--wonder if I'll see any of the cheftestants around town....

p.s. I once dated a guy named Rocco--who knew I would be smitten with another Rocco later in my life?

Running and random thoughts

So I've become kind of obsessed with running. I don't actually enjoy it, but I hate it much less than I used to. I've gone from thinking I could never run a 5K to running a half marathon and now thinking about doing "speed work" for shorter distances. I ran a 5K last weekend and shaved more than a minute off my per mile pace from my first 5K 2 months ago. Now I'm thinking I can go even faster and want to do sub-8-minute miles. The only thing I don't understand is why am I still mushy? Where are my six-pack abs?

Fall TV season is here, and there are a bunch of new shows that look interesting--Gossip Girl, Reaper, Pushing Daisies. Unfortunately, I don't have time for a lot of TV, so I think I'll stick with my old standbys--ANTM, Grey's Anatomy, Project Runway. I'll still sneak an occasional peak at The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars--my guilty pleasures. And can't wait for the Top Chef finale! Despite his villain edit, I'm kinda rooting for Hung--I find him more amusing than annoying. Hmm, I wonder if I could get a job as a TV critic? Getting paid to watch TV would be cool. It would also be cool to be a restaurant critic, so I think I'll start blogging about food to bulk up my resume--ha!

Actually, we did go to a Korean restaurant with some friends recently. I'd been to Jin Ju before for a party, but never had a sit-down dinner there. I have to say that the food was pretty good. A little chi-chi for Korean food--I prefer more homestyle cooking--but everything we had was good. The chap chae especially deviated pretty far from the norm for me, but the flavor was great. The kalbi was good, too, though I would have preferred to have actual lettuce wraps and soybean paste rather than the stylish marinated shredded lettuce that it came with.

Final random thought: some days, things I read in the newspaper just annoy me. Like today, for instance. In the NYT letters to the editor section, some annoying woman was writing about the lead paint toy crisis and suggested that instead of giving our kids toys and having to worry about lead paint, we should read with our kids, encourage them to play outside, take them to cultural centers, blah, blah, blah. Blow it out your sanctimonious piehole, lady. I do all this stuff with my kids, but I also give them toys. Let kids be kids, and let parents have a break from constantly having to stimulate them. And please, how the hell am I going to get dinner on the table if I'm reading Plato to them instead of letting them choke on lead-tainted magnetic Polly Pockets and Thomas toys? And the other newspaper annoyance was in the Trib, which I usually don't read (I think the writing is atrocious) but started to get free on some days. In the business section, there are 3 finance professionals who make stock picks and pans each quarter, and then the paper reviews their performance. Here's my review of their performance: they stink and I as an amateur investor could probably do better. Maybe I'll suggest that to the Trib.

The hottest ticket in town

Nope, it's not Cubs playoff tickets. The hottest ticket in town is for the December Hannah Montana concert. Who would've thunk that Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter would be a bona fide superstar? At least a superstar for tween/teen girls. In hopes of securing tickets, I joined the Hannah Montana fan club; well, that did me absolutely no good as I got completely shut out of the pre-sale. Wait, I take that back, the pre-sale did offer me a lone ticket in the nosebleed section. Needless to say, I passed on that wonderful offer and am trying other avenues. The concert sold out in minutes during the regular sale, and now I'm keeping my fingers crossed that some of my alternatives will pan out. I'm not above milking every possible connection, no matter how remote, in hopes of securing tickets. What I am above doing is paying several hundred dollars per ticket for this concert, which is what every scalper is asking.

13.1 miles

So I did it. I ran my first half marathon. And despite having a bad cold, upset stomach and sore ankle (and waking up at 3:30 am because I was so anxious about my condition), I did better than my target time. It felt great to finish, and I'm thinking about doing another, though I'm worried that I won't do better than my impaired time. And that would be a bad thing.

The train is not your kitchen or living room!

I HATE people who talk on their cell phones on the train. I don't mind quick calls like "I'm on the 5:35" or "do you need me to pick up dinner," but whole conversations? No way. I mean, I really don't need to hear you tell your friend about what a prick your boss is (and is that appropriate, really? You never know who's on the train) or relay the story of your dog's irritable bowel syndrome. A woman sat next to me last night who proceeded to have a 15-minute conversation with someone. I have no idea what it was about, because it was in Chinese. And that was annoying too because, let's be honest, Chinese is not exactly a meluflous language.

Another train pet peeve? People who sprawl out over more than 1 seat. I don't mind the 4 guys who play bridge, because really they're just taking up 4 seats. But then there's their audience, on all sides of them, who take up the full bench as they lean over to watch the bridge proceedings. And there used to be a girl who would flip a seat over, spread her things around and eat a full breakfast on top of that. So she essentially had 4 seats for her little solo coffee klatsch. HATE. And the woman who used to flip a seat and then propped her bare feet up across from her. She's physically occupying 2 seats, and then essentially rendering the other 2 seats uninhabitable because, really, who wants to sit next to that?

I Love Anthony Bourdain

I just discovered his Top Chef blog on Bravo's website. I've loved him ever since his rapport with stoner Mikey from Season 2, but these 2 quotes forever seal my love for him:

"What the hell is with Casey's knife skills!? During the Quickfire, I was absolutely gobsmacked watching her methodically sawing away at those onions like Ina Garten on Thorazine. No. Let me correct myself. Ina Garten on Thorazine would be faster. MUCH faster."

"Another good performance from Dale, who continues to impress with his professionalism. When confronted with Madonna's asshat brother, he managed to avoid telling him where he could go with his interior design suggestions and what, exactly, to do with that candelabra. A remarkable display of self-control. I am atwitter with anticipation, wondering what other food world luminaries might share their wisdom with us next week! Joe Piscopo's brother, the landscaper? Mickey Rourke's dog-groomer? This could get really, really good!"

I couldn't have said it better myself. Watching Casey mince onions was painful--I'm a terrible mincer/dicer, but that's why I have a handy-dandy little contraption that does it for me. And calling Madonna's brother an "asshat"? Priceless.

I shoulda had a V-8

Jamba Juice + soy chips + gummi bears = you're lucky you're not in my office right now

Blaker Girl, here

I took the kids to the American Idol concert last night. Yes, they were my beard--I'm a little too old to be a fangirl. The concert was fun, and Blake's "You Give Love a Bad Name" was definitely the highlight. He and Chris R. also did a little beatbox-off that ended with a bar of Sexyback, which was hilarious. T rocked out--he was dancing in our row (when he wasn't stuffing his face with popcorn, Diet Pepsi and cotton candy). H was into it, too, and was pissed that I made her leave early. I wanted to avoid the rush, and since it was only Jordin closing out the show, I didn't feel like we'd miss anything. She was also pissed that Blake did not seem to have that many performances--you and me both, girl. Gina's boyfriend came out on stage and proposed to her (she said yes) which provided a nice "awwww" moment that H got a kick out of.

T lost his first tooth on the way to the concert. The tooth fairy visited last night and left $2. That is the going rate at our house, even if some of their friends are getting Webkinz. Speaking of which, T got his own Webkinz--a cute little frog that he named Flyer. T is a riot with him, and is pretty good at the games. Of course, not as good as his mom. I was playing a pac-man type game the other night--solely to help the kids get Webkinz cash, of course--where a pig eats junk food, and eating vegetables sets him back. What kind of message is that to send our kids? Of course, my kids loved it. A friend of mine is addicted to a Tetris-type game--she, too, plays in the interest of her child--so I gave that a whirl the other day. Sadly, I logged in as one of the kids when they weren't even around. Is this a sign of a larger problem?

Centipedes and the new me

I'm really scared of bugs. Well, not exactly scared, but really grossed out by them. Especially centipedes. Which takes me to my story. I was in my bathroom yesterday, when I saw a giant centipede on the floor. It was at least 2 inches long (not counting antennae). The old me would have completely freaked out and been paralyzed with fear, and then called A to come kill it. The new me--the one who believes in mind over matter and who seems to think she can run a half marathon--decided that I would take charge and kill it myself (plus A wasn't home, so I didn't really have much choice in the matter). First I took a feeble swat at it with a balled-up tissue. Not a good idea. It started to run away and I was so scared it was going to duck into the closet, in which case I would never find it and it would live in my closet, asexually producing hundreds of baby centipedes. Yuck. Lucky for me, centipedes are not very smart and this one ran straight into a corner. So this time, I took an empty baby oil bottle and swooped straight down on it. Unfortunately, the bottom of the bottle was concave in the middle, so the edges of the bottle knocked off a few legs and then that little bugger ran away. Did you know that centipede legs still flail about even if they're not attached to the body? I struck a few more times, knocked a few more legs off (and watched those legs wiggle in place) and then finally got the whole damned thing. I even picked it up with a tissue and disposed of it. This is big for me--once, I trapped a spider under a cup but was too scared to move the cup and kill it, so I left it there until someone braver than me could deal with it. So I feel like a new person.

This new me also cut my toenails (bye-bye cute pedicure) in preparation for my serious training runs.

Hooked on a Feeling

So let me preface this post by saying I'm not a runner. I'm not any sort of athlete, come to think of it. I'm woefully uncoordinated and unathletic, and I have no desire to push myself physically (or mentally for that matter). I did not play sports in high school or in any organized capacity whatsoever. I did run a 5K in law school, but that was mainly because my friends and I though the dean was kinda cute and it was a "run with the dean" event. We did not train and by the time we finished the 5K, everyone was already packed up and at the bar at the post-race bar event. Come to think of it, that may have been another reason we ran the race--we loved the bar! So anyway, recently some friends of mine decided that we should start running. It started with the idea to run a 10-mile race in May, but that didn't work out for many reasons. The plan somehow morphed into running a half marathon this fall, the rationale being we could train all summer. I didn't plan on running the half marathon because I'm not a runner--have I mentioned that? But I thought this would be a good opportunity to give running another shot. So I started running a bit this summer--a few miles a couple days a week. And I have to say that even though I hate every stinking second that I'm doing it, I feel good afterward. Plus, some friends and I ran a race last weekend--2 of us did a 5K and the others did a 10K, and I have to admit, being timed and racing against others was such a rush. I did better than my target time, but I know I can run faster--I think I'm hooked. I have the running bug and am scoping out some races and even thinking of doing that half marathon. Or maybe this is just the endorphins talking.

I love Minesweeper!

So it seems like one of the big things for kids today is a little stuffed animal called a Webkinz. But it's not just a stuffed toy--it's a key to a whole online world. The premise is that you buy this thing and then play with it in a virtual world--you need to earn $ to buy food and furniture to keep the pet happy, and you do that by playing games and working jobs. You need to play with the pet and take it to the vet as necessary. H has been bugging me for one, so at last, I succumbed. She got the darn thing yesterday and promptly spent the next 2 hours online. She would have been on the computer longer, if I hadn't kicked her off. No, not because it was bedtime or because she needed to spend time doing something more productive. I kicked her off because one of the games on the site was like Minesweeper! Yes, that Minesweeper that used to come installed on all new PCs (along with Solitaire). I used to play those so much in law school that I developed fungal infections on my thumb. Nice. Anyway, the Minesweeper version for Webkinz is sweeping for skunks, and yesterday, you were able to earn bonus points on the game. So of course I altruistically offered to earn as many points (which translate to Webkinz $) for H by playing the game. It's harder than I remembered, and whereas in the original Minesweeper, you could clear whole swaths with one button, this game generally cleared one by one, which was maddeningly slow. I had to pry myself away from the computer. H decided it was a good game to learn math, though I think it's really more logic and problem solving, and I think it's a little out of her reach for now. T loves Webkinz too, but since he just got loaded with birthday junk, he'll have to wait a bit. Oh wait, H has been loaded with pre-birthday junk, so maybe it's only fair that I get him one soon. Have we already had the "Mommy = Chump" post?

Cheesy Summer Fun

And no, I'm not talking about fondue or Cheetos. I'm talking about the cheesetastic glory of The Singing Bee. What, you're surprised that I found another bad reality TV show to become a giant time-suck? I don't know what my favorite part was: the back-up dancers dressed like bees or the total unabashedness of contestants belting out lyrics off-key. I also love that they had Kiss's Rock & Roll All Nite on last night--and they guy knew it was "party every day" and not "part of every day." Anyway, the kids and I thoroughly enjoyed the spectacle and will be tuning in each week. At least I have Top Chef to balance out my reality TV.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Sometimes, H is the sweetest big sister. Last week, for T's 5th birthday, she drew him a beautiful card. Then at his birthday party, she bit him on his ear as he was blowing out the candles on his cake, causing him to cry not only at what was supposed to be the high point of the party, but also in front of his friends. She was annoyed at him for roughhousing with her in the pool, but I can't believe she stewed over it until she could get the perfect revenge! Last night, she sweetly read him stories for bed--it was so darn precious, I even took a picture of the two of them lying head-to-head in bed. Then today, he fell down a few stairs and really hurt himself. My babysitter told me H had a self-satisfied smirk on her face--she even told me it was kind of creepy the way H seemed pleased about T hurting himself. When I asked H about it tonight, she said she was smiling because she was happy T did not hurt himself worse than he did. Smart and evil--that's a dangerous combination.

Revolving Doors

What is the deal with people who don't know how to use revolving doors? I'm talking about the people who don't seem to know how to get into a section if someone has just exited. So they stand there and wait until an empty section comes around. Meanwhile, a line of people has built up behind them. Seriously, where do these people come from?

FitFlops

We've already established that I'm a chump when it comes to buying things for my kids, but I'm also a sucker for marketing. The NYT ran an article a couple weeks ago about FitFlops. They are flip flops that are supposed to work out your legs and butt while you walk--supposedly the soles are destabilizing so it's like walking on sand. Bliss sold similar shoes that were based on the way Masai warriors walk--I kid you not. The Bliss shoes were fugly and expensive, but the FitFlops were OK-looking and only $40, so naturally, I immediately ordered a pair. Luckily, I actually got a pair--apparently after the NYT article ran, there was a run on the FitFlops here in the US. (the company is UK-based). Anyway, I got them in the mail, and then decided it was probably only a gimmick. I saw that they were selling for over retail on ebay, so I guess I'll sell mine on ebay. I may not be working out my legs and butt (at least not by wearing these shoes), but I'll make a couple bucks off of this.

Speaking of feet (not really, but I needed a segue), I stubbed my toe on a door this morning. Why do stubbed toes hurt so much?

cicadas

So the 17-year cicadas are in full bloom right now. They're getting very noisy, and starting to mate. H and I saw some mating pairs on the way to school today--apparently, they mate butt-to-butt. She wanted to pull them apart, but I told her I didn't think they'd appreciate that. She then found two single cicadas and tried to mash their butts together. LOL. H, the cicada matchmaker. She is definitely the cicada whisperer--she is not at all squicked out by them and constantly picks them up. T, on the other hand, doesn't like to touch them--he uses a stick and tries to get them to crawl on. I'm getting a little less squeamish--I don't mind now if H puts one on my shirt, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go out and pet them like she does.

Mommy = Chump

So I took the kids shoe shopping yesterday. The goal was to get H sandals she could wear to camp, and T new sneakers and Crocs. H got her sandals, all right, as well as a kickin' pair of Chuck Taylors (skull-and-crossbones design). T got sneakers (which I'm going to return because when we got home, I realized they're the exact same size as his current sneakers) and skull-and-crossbones Vans. The next size up in Crocs were ridiculously big on him, so he'll just keep squeezing into the ones he has. But Vans and Chuck T's for a 4- and 6-year-old? Can you say Mommy is a sucker?

Spaz in the pool

So a good friend and I took a swim lesson today. We can both swim, but it ain't pretty. And you certainly wouldn't want us to rescue you if you fell overboard. I think it's kind of funny that we're crappy swimmers, considering her people are from an island and mine a peninsula. My heritage must obviously be from the inland part of the peninsula. It was a good lesson, but I have to say it's mildly humiliating spastically flailing in the pool while a good-looking college student critiques your form (or in my case, lack thereof). But I think it was good to do, and we're up for another humiliation session. H and T will also be taking lessons with Coach C this summer.

I also went for a run today. I'm up to about 2.6 miles, but there's no way I'm going to be ready for a half-marathon this fall. Two of my friends have already signed up, but it's more likely that I'll become a champion swimmer than it is that I'll run in an organized race. Anyway, now that the cicadas are flying around, I think that will seriously curtail my enthusiasm for running outside.

Apparently, mommy DOES speak a foreign language

In my next life, I'm coming back as my kids. Memorial Day weekend was full of getting together with friends, and we even squeezed in Shrek the Third on a rainy day, and we capped off the weekend with the pool yesterday, and then a bike ride to the ice cream truck. So I got a little frustrated when, at the end of the day, neither H nor T had any interest in listening to me. So I said, "what's the problem? Is mommy speaking another language that you don't understand?" And T replied, "yes, you say 'blah googy mama do gaya.'" If he wasn't so damned cute when he said that, I would've been pissed. The pool was fun--they finally swim well enough that I don't need to go in the pool with them! And T discovered the diving board--the lifeguards were getting quite a kick out of his enthusiasm.

I was surfing channels last night and caught the end of the Miss Universe pageant. I saw Miss USA slip and land on her butt during the evening gown strut--it was horribly funny, but I think she missed a huge opportunity during question session when her question was what moment she would like to relive. She should have answered "the evening gown competition, but instead of falling, I would have glided gracefully down the runway." Was it just me, or did the 5 finalists all pretty much look the same? And Dave Navarro as a judge? What the heck is up with that?

Tales From an Airplane

So having flown to San Diego over the weekend, and Minneapolis yesterday for a day trip, here are a couple travel observations.

1) As painful as it can be to fly with my kids sometimes, the known annoyances of sitting next to them may outweigh the unknown of strangers I may be sitting next to. To wit, the gassy old lady I sat next to for 4 hours on the way to San Diego, the OCD lady who fidgeted and banged around in her seat for 4 hours on the way back from San Diego and the large French man who kept sticking his elbow in my seat space on the way back from Minneapolis yesterday. Oh, and while that should have been only an hour long flight, I actually sat next to him for over 4 hours because of delays and changes in flight routes (this is after my original flight was canceled). Just because I'm small doesn't mean you can encroach on my space! Thankfully, I had the whole row to myself on the way to Minneapolis.

2) Who are the lucky SOB's that get to fly into gates that are close to check-in? It's definitely not me, because my gates are, without fail, at the end of the concourse.

Wait, you were expecting me to comment on American Idol? Nothing much to say. I was most interested in Blake's reaction when Jordin won, but thanks to my ti-faux cutting out early, I didn't catch it. I'm totally OK with him not winning. Blake rocks and will be successful in his own right. The highlight from last night's show? Sanjaya's cheesetastic performance with Joe Perry. I loved the wind effects and the crying girl.

This is my crappy song the producers are making me sing

I don't care if Blake wins. I really don't, because I know he's going to have a fantastic music career regardless of whether he wins American Idol. But I do care that Randy does not appreciate Blake's talents, and that Simon said that Jordin "mopped the floor with Blake" on that trite crap that was "This is My Now." Ugh. Yes, the song was clearly better suited for Jordin's voice, but really, that's all she can sing--treacly ballads with glory notes. She is completely overwhelmed by up-tempo songs, and tonight on Fighter was no exception: She's no Christina Aguilera. Blake, on the other hand, is much more musically versatile, and he actually sings stuff I would listen to. And he was too classy to say that the crap he had to sing tonight was not really his cup of tea. But you know what? I really don't care who wins. Maybe Blake is better off not having to record "This is My Worst Moment Ever Having to Sing This Pile of Steaming Cow Dung." Unless he beat boxes it, then that would be cool.

Everyone's entitled to their wrong opinion about Blake Lewis

So I called H to make sure she's not chewing with her chipped tooth (it's got stage 1 wiggliness--and yes, that's a medical term--and we need to let it re-set itself) and she said, "Mommy, I need to tell you something." She was so serious and earnest that I was expecting some type of true confession. But what she told me was for more disturbing than anything I could have imagined: When she was visiting some friends over the weekend, they started talking about American Idol. H told them she was a Blaker Girl (OK, maybe she didn't use that exact term), and they said they were voting for Jordin because Blake was yucky. I explained to her that just because they liked Jordin didn't mean that she had to, and that everyone is entitled to their wrong opinions.

John Mayer is hot?

H is the funniest little kid. She is so ahead of her years in some ways, but at the end of the day, she'll do something or say something that reminds you that she's only 6--6 going on 16 sometimes, but nevertheless, 6. She had a mishap on her scooter over the weekend and chipped her front tooth. She's recovered nicely, mainly because the dentist fixed the chip and now H knows she won't need a false tooth. And she announced to me yesterday that she is too young to kiss boys. She told me she has to be 10. I was pushing for 18, but I guess I'll take what I can get. And T is so much fun, too. He is becoming more articulate--he was getting really frustrated trying to tell A something the other day, and A was trying to "help" by offering suggestions of what T was trying to say, and T just said, "you're not listening to me." Which was true.

John Mayer looks so much better with his new Sally Hershberger do. It was totally worth the $600 or whatever he paid for it. I take back my Edward Scissorhands comment.

More Reality TV

Now don't get me wrong--I'm a Blaker Girl through and through--but I had very mixed feelings when it was just Blake and Melinda standing up there. I think Melinda is a fantastic singer, but I find it very unlikely that I would ever buy an album of hers. I just feel like becoming the American Idol would mean more to Melinda than it would mean to Blake. Blake is going to have a successful music career no matter what. So it was sad to see Melinda go last night, but she handled it so well. We'll miss you Melinda, and Bshorty for the win!

Jaslene as America's Next Top Model? OK then, I guess the next look is supposed to be emaciated transvestites. I loved Natasha's personality, but I'm not sure she was top model potential either. Flame me for fueling eating disorders, but she looked a little flabby during the Sass & Bide show.

Do we have a moral obligation to "Fashion Don'ts"?

So I just waited 10 minutes in line behind a woman at Walgreen's who was paying by check. Argh! Who knew people still did this?

And on the way to Walgreen's, I saw a woman in a lovely white summer dress. She was also wearing light blue underwear that was creeping up her butt. Did I mention the dress was see-through? In a situation like this, should I have told her that her dress was completely see-through? On the one hand, I think I would like to know if it were me. On the other hand, I would never let myself leave the house like that in the first place. Does she not have a mirror/roommate/boyfriend/husband? What is the proper protocol? It's not like she could have done anything about it unless she had a back-up outfit in the office. Or maybe she had a jacket she could have wrapped around her waist. I think if it's something like a fly being unzipped, you tell the person so they can fix it and save them further embarrassment. A see-through dress? Maybe I would have just made her embarrassed the rest of the day. Or maybe I would have saved her from making the same mistake another day. Dilemma.

Eeny Meeny Miney Mo

So I just spent the last 10 minutes arguing about Eeny Meeny Miney Mo with H. She doesn't seem to understand that if you're doing it with more than 2 people and eliminating people by saying "not it" at the end, the operative word is "it," not "not." She insisted that the person who landed on "not" was eliminated, not the person who landed on "it." (Or more accurately, the person on which "not" landed and the person on which "it" landed.) I think that's my problem--I'm too anal and precise. If H and her friends do it that way, who cares if it's not technically accurate? It works for them. Good Lord, I think I'm overthinking Eeny Meeny Miney Mo. Who knew that was even possible.

More Reality TV

Blake is safe. Life is good.

During the medley, H thought they were singing "onions in the street" instead of "islands in the stream." I guess I'll have to add that to my database of misheard song lyrics. She wanted to know why the songs were switching so I explained to her what a medley was. And that clever H then linked it to "Islands in the Stream" by saying the song bits were like islands and the medley overall was the stream.

T was so cute when I was putting him down to bed. He said, "pretend you're a girl singer and I'm Simon." So I sang him one bar of "Just the Girl" (one of his favorite songs) and he said in a funny accent (he's 4--I'll cut him some slack on the English accent), "that was great--I could kiss you." And that was our good night kiss. Though he did continue the schtick by saying in his funny accent, "but I don't like the lipstick you got on me." Hmm, do you think he watches too much AI?

Is "barnyard funk" an acceptable wine term?

So I skipped AI last night to go to some wine event. We got to walk around and sample all kinds of wines--most of the people there were pretty normal, but there were a few blowhards being all pompous and talking about "hints of tobacco" and "chewy tannins." We tried some pretty well-known (read, expensive) wines and none of them really jumped out as being extra special. In fact, I commented that one of them had "hints of barnyard funk" and another just flat out "tastes like ass." Are those standard wine terms? When it comes to wine, I like what I like and that's about it.

We got home early enough to watch AI on the ti-faux. We were so excited for BeeGees night (A can surprise people with his musical tastes--I attribute his excitement to the fact that he's old and this is the music he grew up!) but were so disappointed with everyone, even my boy Blake. Oh Blake, I worry about you. I didn't love either of your performances, but I hope you're safe because I remember the magic that was You Give Love a Bad Name. In fact, I was so distraught with last night's performances that I had to rewatch Blake on Bon Jovi night so I could go to bed content.

Look ma, no training wheels

We took the training wheels off T's bike last weekend. Sniff, my little boy is all grown up. Luckily he was the same age as H for this milestone, or else she never would have let him live it down. Though I do have to say that he was much more tentative about it than she was.

I kept true to my word and avoided both DWTS and The Bachelor last night, though of course I hungrily searched for recaps this morning. I'm going out tonight and will miss AI--I'm so nervous for Blake and hope I get home in time to vote! Could I be more of a teenage girl?

Amazing Race; Random thought

So Eric and Danielle won. I guess I'm sort of indifferent to that--I would have preferred the Beauty Queens, but it sure as hell is better than Charla and Mirna winning. And of course this still leaves open the possibility of me someday being part of the first all-female team to win. Ha!

So I was talking to A recently about how when I was a kid, turning on the interior car light when dad was driving was strictly verboten. If it was a real emergency, mom would flick on the light for a quick second all the while yelling at me to hurry up because dad couldn't see with the light on and we would get into an accident. A's parents were the same. So is this some type of universal craziness of the parents of our generation? Because it certainly doesn't bother me to drive with the interior light on.

Yes, more American Idol

Holy awkwardness between Simon and Ryan at the opening of the show last night. Ryan, that was a pretty weak reference to a blow-up doll, and Simon, if your first thought is your girlfriend when someone refers to your puppet, be prepared to sleep on the couch the next few weeks. I am officially obsessed with Blake. I couldn't even watch when it was just him and Chris standing up there for the final elimination--H couldn't watch either, and was hiding under the blanket. Of course, H's reasons for wanting him to stay are a bit purer than mine. :-) I'm not sure I really care if he wins, so long as he's in the Final 2 so he stays on my TV as long as possible. He's gotten great exposure (though personally, I'd like a little more exposure--ha!) and I'm sure he'll have a great musical career regardless of if he wins. Plus if he doesn't win, he won't have to sing nonsense like "A Moment Like This." Then again, maybe it would be cool to see how he could re-arrange and funk-up whatever the schmaltzy coronation tune is this year.

American Idol (surprise, surprise)

Ohmigod, could I love Blake any more? And yes, he makes me feel like a 17-year-old giddy girl so I'll talk like one. Melinda, as usual, was awesome, too. Jordin, not so much, but the guitarist she sang with was HOT. He was no Rafael, but still pretty smokin'. H and T asked me to vote for Blake. They were so cute singing along tonight--they love Bon Jovi.

Dancing with the Stars; The Bachelor

So I've managed to avoid getting sucked into ABC's Monday night reality brain-drain mainly by just staying away. Last night was like snarfing a plate of spaghetti after doing Atkins for months. A was watching TV and surfing the guide. H, who is a good and (unfortunately for me last night) quick reader, saw Dancing with the Stars listed on the guide and begged to watch it. I have no idea how she even knows what DWTS is. Anyway, we obliged--she didn't exactly have to twist my arm--and caught most of the second half. H loved the costumes--I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering she is H from the Block. Billy Ray Cyrus is surpisingly bad dancer considering he invented Achy Breaky Heart! Oh wait, maybe it's not so surprising after all. I loved seeing the Peach Pit gang come out and support Steve Sanders! But where were Dylan and Brenda? And Andrea, the stick-in-the-mud? Apolo Ohno was surprisingly good--A doesn't think it's fair that he has to compete against a freakin' former N'Sync'er, since those boy banders are practically pros. We missed both of Laila Ali's dances, and since I'm not watching this show anymore (I swear, I'm not), I guess I'll never get to see her dance. But I hope she and Apolo are the Final 2.

Of course since the Bachelor started right after DWTS, I got sucked into that huge time waste as well. But I think I can avoid the rest of the season because a) it's just not that interesting, b) the girls are ugly and c) I think it's obvious he's going to pick Tessa. Tessa looks half-Asian, and I was surprised that she and Tina were both still in it last night. Usually the bachelors get rid of all the token minorities on the first show--the second at the latest if they're trying to appear PC. But it was all made clear to me when I learned Andy is from Hawaii: clearly the boy has a fetish. But that doesn't explain his affinity for blondes with big noses (all 3 of them last night) and girls with fat upper arms (the psychotic Bevin).

Idol Gives Back

So I watched the 2-hour schmaltz-fest that was American Idol Gives Back, and I would be lying if I told you that I found the whole thing cheesy and unmoving. I was actually quite touched by it and did have to wipe away a few tears. I watched with H and T--they live such a privileged life that I think it's important for them to understand how truly lucky they are. I love that Ellen donated $100K and I love how she told kids that were watching to donate $1 each and have their parents donate $9 to match. H and T were all over that, and are each giving me $1 from their piggy banks tomorrow. Some random thoughts about the show: I loved the Simpsons skit and Jack Black. Kelly Clarkson's upper arms have ballooned. Speaking of balloons, what was up with Paula's boobs? Teri Hatcher has morphed into Michael Jackson. Annie Lennox rocked. So did Josh Groban. Why are the Appalachian kids fat?

Song lyrics

I read somewhere recently that someone thought the lyrics to Kiss's "Rock & Roll All Nite" were "I want to rock & roll all nite, and part of every day" instead of "party every day." I laughed, because I used to think the exact same thing. And I thought it was mainly because of my responsible geekiness. You know, if you're going to rock & roll all nite, you can do it part of the next day, but not the whole day. Then I heard AC/DC "Dirty Deeds" this morning and remembered how my friends and I thought the lyrics were "Dirty deeds and the Dunder Chief." Never mind that we had no clue who the Dunder Chief was and what he had to do with dirty deeds. I'm generally terrible with understanding lyrics. In the Cult's "She Sells Sanctuary," I was sure the singer was saying "paperback ride." Yes I know that doesn't make any sense, but maybe I had "Paperback Writer" on the brain. And one of my all time favorite mangled lyrics is courtesy of my friend Jane, who thought for sure that in "La Isla Bonita," Madonna was dreaming of bagels instead of San Pedro.

Reality TV Low

I hit a new low last night: Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search.

Vegas, baby!

So I'm just back from my first trip to Las Vegas. What a strange place. It was a fun trip and I'm definitely glad to have gone, but I can't imagine spending more than 2 days there, nor do I feel I need to go back anytime soon. It is like Disney World for adults and the scale and excess of everything was crazy. And the people-watching! Apparently, there were quite a few celebs there, not that we saw any. K-Fed (OK, so we're talking C-list celebs), Paris Hilton, Ricky Martin, Gwen Stefani, Jamie-Lynn Siegler, Robert Iler, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson. We did see lots of overweight midwestern women wearing mom jeans and fanny packs. And I'm allowed to mock since I live in the midwest. That's probably the most striking thing about Vegas--the range of people it appeals to.

We had a couple great meals--at Fiamma on Friday night and Alex on Saturday night (G's bday dinner--the reason we were in Vegas). A won $50 playing blackjack, and I lost $10 playing roulette. I was up more than $50 at one point--should have quit while I was ahead! I know, we're such high rollers. Craps looks like fun, though it would weird me out that my chips are being moved around and I have no idea why! If I ever go back to Vegas, and I think I probably will, I'll learn how to play craps, first.

We flew United (Ted) and surprisingly had no problems with our flights! It would have been nice to get one of those Economy Plus seats. We had the option to purchase, but didn't want to shell out the extra $. I wonder how that works anyway--I find it unlikely that they fill up with people willing to pay and United elite fliers, so how do they get assigned? Would I be better off checking in late and hoping those are the only seats left to assign?

Virginia Tech

So how is it that I could so blithely write about toenail polish when the terrible tragedy was unfolding at VT? At that point, I don't think anyone really knew how serious it was. And now that a fuller picture of the tragic events has come to light, I'm obsessed with it. The potential of the lives lost is so sad. And what about the professor who survived the Holocaust only to be killed so senselessly like this? Too unfair to even ponder. In an eerie coincidence, I just started reading the book We Need To Talk About Kevin over the weekend. It's a fictional series of letters from a woman to her estranged husband--and they are the parents of a school shooter. So naturally, I start to think about the parents of Seung Cho. Even more so since he's Korean. What is it about being Korean that gives us such a sense of shame about this? If the shooter were black, would the entire African-American population feel ashamed? I'm going to completely over-generalize and stereotype and say that the national pride (and subsequent shame) is a Korean thing. Which also leads me to wonder more about his parents. Did they have any sense of how unhappy and unstable their son was? Did they encourage counseling or medication? It's not the "Korean" way to handle these types of problems, but look how this turned out. It also reminds me of a story I read in the NY Times a while back about a profoundly depressed Korean girl who self-immolated when she was at college. Korean parents--wake up and look at your own kids. The VT tragedy didn't have to happen. I am so deeply sorry for everyone who lost loved ones.

Little things

It's amazing how something so simple as a pedicure can have such a big impact. I haven't had a pedicure since before I went to Mexico in January. So, needless to say, my toes were looking pretty sorry. Especially the big toe on my left foot, which was still purplish from my lame-o skiing at Jackson Hole (I'm right-footed when I ski, so it's my right turns--using my left foot--that were sucking at JH). Plus I took all the chipped polish off last month, so my toes were bare and just not pleasant to look at. Anyway, got a pedicure today and the obvious immediate effect is that my toes look better. The secondary effects are that I feel better about my feet and now have more wardrobe options as well (I can wear open-toed shoes!) which will make me feel even better overall. Aah--the amazing effect of a pedicure.

Speaking of amazing, I finally caught a full episode of The Amazing Race last night. (Note: A DVR is a wonderful thing, and if you put it on your husband's to-do list, it will probably take over a year to actually get installed, and even then it will not be because you finally wore him down, but because you just decided to take care of the damn thing yourself.) Could Mirna be any more annoying? I seriously can't decide who I hate more: her or the annoying sanctimonious hypocrites that were on the Family Edition of TAR. I love the Beauty Queens--they play hard, but fair. And they're unfailingly polite and respectful to each other and the locals. I hope they win and Mirna gets left behind somewhere far, far, away.

More Reality TV

OK Haley, the hot shorts were awesome the first time you trotted them out, but the schtick is getting old. And pretty transparent, as Simon noted yesterday. I still love Melinda, though Jordin has definitely been encroaching on that love-fest. At the end, though, Blake is still my fave and my pick to win it all.

p.s. Is it just me or do Melinda, Jordin and LaKisha look like they've been losing weight? Or is it just the awesome stylists, who should get extra kudos for last night.

Target sucks a little less

I got resolution on my Target customer service issue last week. I got a note from a regional director apologizing for my poor "guest services" experience and enclosing a $25 gift card. The gift card was nice, but the bigger issue for me was that they train their customer service desk to actually treat their customers like "guests" (since that is what Target is so big on). I hope that the snotty kid I dealt with got a good corporate smackdown.

Random thought on Botox

I noticed that I have a tendency to raise my eyebrows (thereby causing lines in my forehead) a lot--and not just when I'm working or concentrating, but even when I'm doing something mundane like blow-drying my hair. Seriously, who does that? So as a random thought but also part of my general "take better care of me" philosophy, I'm going to have to consciously watch the facial maneuverings so as not to cause a premature need for Botox.

Time for me

As a working mom, it's pretty much inevitable that in between working my job and managing the house, taking care of myself gets lost in the mix. Not to say that I don't do anything for myself, because I do, but it's something I have to be extra conscious of and to be honest, the things I do for myself aren't really that exciting (working out in the basement is not exactly the stuff dreams are made of). So I have decided to make more of an effort to make my life interesting. The kids' lives are full of things like sports, theater and fun outings, so why shouldn't my life be the same? So my first step to a more interesting me was to schedule a visit to a law school friend in San Diego. She's going to play hooky from work one day, and we're going to take a surf lesson. My next step (which is really more like the first since it's a precursor to the surfing) is to take swim lessons here not only so I don't kill myself in La Jolla, but also to make myself a better swimmer overall. (My swimming is crap--I want to feel confident that if the kids ever got in danger in the water, I could actually help them.) I am also planning on resuming my golf lessons this summer with 2 good friends here (it's a little about the golf and a lot about getting together and having girlfriend time).

Random thought #2

Here's something that really bugs me: poor spelling, grammar or punctuation. One of my biggest pet peeves? Misuse of the apostrophe. I was reading a magazine last night (granted, a new, local, not very well-written magazine, but a legit publication nevertheless) and it was talking about a couple and referred to them as the "Decker's." Argh! And this same magazine spelled "restaurateur" as "restauranteur." I thought about writing a mocking letter to the editor, but I live in a pretty small community and didn't want to become a social pariah.

AI; random thoughts

So AI didn't bowl me over last night, mainly because I'm not a fan of that music genre. Technically, I think Melinda and Jordin are the strongest singers. But I don't see either of them as a musical superstar, especially Melinda. Don't get me wrong, I adore both of them, especially Melinda, but I don't think she'd ever be a Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood, who are the only 2 Idols to go on to achieve widespread mainstream success. So that leaves me with Blake, who may not be as strong a singer, but who clearly has great musicality combined with the X factor. I was also kinda disappointed with the judges last night, who are turning into caricatures of themselves.

Now a complete non-sequitur: I often find myself consumed with random thoughts and blogging is the perfect outlet for them, so each time I have one, I'll post it. Here's my first: What's the deal with John Mayer? Dude is not attractive. He looks like Edward Scissorhands. No, not Johnny Depp, Edward Scissorhands.

Back to life, back to reality

Well, it's the second day back after a fabulous week of skiing over spring break last week. Luckily, work is not too crazy, so I can sneak away for a quick post. Let's see, how to summarize vacation? We got off to a rocky start because of our continuing bad luggage karma. We flew to Denver, but somehow, one of our ski bags flew to Steamboat Springs, and we didn't get it back until Tuesday. Of course I complained, and we got reimbursed 100% for A's ski rental and 50% for some gear that all four of us had to buy. Never fear, I will continue my complaints until I get reimbursed for the 50% balance for the gear. The vacation itself was great. We went with some friends of ours and 3 of their 4 kids (baby stayed home with grandma) and had an awesome time. And I'm not just saying that in case they read this (they don't know I blog).

H and T did great in ski school, and we skied 2 days with them ourselves. They're both skiing easy black runs--they will easily be outskiing me soon (not that it's hard to do!). We also hit the slalom race course, halfpipe and terrain park. We all medaled on the Nastar course--the boys got silvers and the girls got bronze. Of course, the only reason I even medaled is because I upped my age a little to get into a more favorable age bracket. Me, competitive? Unfortunately H inherited this from me, because she was majorly po'd that she missed the silver by 1 second, especially since T technically missed some gates on the course (but we cut him some slack--after all, he is only 4!).

We have bad luggage karma, but our friends have bad flight karma, which kicked in on our return flight--the plane had some mechanical issues and we were 3 hours delayed. But we all made it back in one piece and even all our bags showed up!

First order of business upon return to the office yesterday was to catch up on work. Second order of business was to catch up on all my TV shows that I missed last week (well, maybe I mixed up the order, but who knows, my boss may be reading this). One of my favorite websites is great for this: www.televisionwithoutpity.com. I got the lowdown on TAR, AI, ANTM and Grey's Anatomy. [Aside: How come only reality shows go by acronyms?] I had to get my Grease results elsewhere--congrats Max! Also had to catch up on media and Hollywood gossip: www.gawker.com and www.tmz.com; and check in with my fellow consumer advocates: consumerist.com. I read on consumerist that Target is tightening its return policy. Not that it matters since I'm still boycotting Target, but it's just further evidence of the decline of what was once one of my favorite stores.

AI: What's with the crying girl?

How awesome was American Idol last night? And is it wrong for a 30-something mom to (a) have a complete infatuation with Blake, (b) laugh out loud at the tween girl crying in the audience and (c) crave Haley's legs? I love everything about Blake--his vibe, his clothes, the dance moves, the beat boxing, the awesome musical arrangements and his voice. He is the total package, and I'm rooting for him to go to the final 3 with Jordin and Melinda. As for the crying tween? When the camera panned to her when she was sobbing during Sanjaya's "performance" of Your Really Got Me (what the hell was that?), I literally laughed out loud. H and T looked at me and asked "Why is she crying?" and "Why are you laughing?" I answered, "She's crying because she's so happy" (translation, she's ridiculously overinvested in the show) and "I'm laughing because she shouldn't be crying" (translation, mommy's mean). And Haley? She always struck me as a little matronly... until last night. The halter! The hot pants! The legs! Wowza!

Grease

OK, post one down and now I'm blog-happy. Let me preface this by saying I'm a very normal person with an unhealthy addiction to reality TV. The good stuff like The Amazing Race, but also utter drivel like The Real Housewives of Orange County or The Girls Next Door. I even got so sucked in to Rock Star: Sueprnova that I paid a ridiculous amount of money for concert tix right after the show ended. I'm so ashamed. The only shows I currently watch semi-religiously are TAR and AI, but if I stumble across a reality show while channel surfing, I will remain glued to the set. So that's my backstory on how I got to watching "You're the One That I Want" last night while waiting for TAR to come on (NCAA basketball sent everything on CBS into delay). Anyway, I had caught an episode or two earlier, mostly late night on Bravo while trying to unwind before bed. And let me tell you, I love that Max dude. Always have, because he always seemed like the underdog, and especially last night after he told his Bell's Palsy story. Should I be embarrassed to admit I got misty-eyed? I don't really care which Sandy wins, though Laura bugged me a bit because her kiss with Max was so awkward. But I won't hold that against her, so long as Max wins. Go Max!

Target sucks

Wow. My first blog and my first post. And what drove me to it? Just the need to vent (albeit in an abbreviated, anonymous way) about one of the worst customer service experiences of my life. I won't bore you with too many of the details here, but just let me warn you to check your receipt before you leave Target and to not take the advice of its employees, because if they mistakenly double-charge you for an item, and if you don't notice it until you're already home, and if you call the store and are told to bring the receipt in anytime to fix the mistake, when you bring the receipt in two weeks later, you will be told that nothing can be done for you and that you have to pay for an item that you didn't buy and that was mistakenly charged to you by no fault of your own. The full story in all its glory has been sent to Bob Ulrich, CEO of Target. Hi Bob! Hope you can fix this for me!