The train is not your kitchen or living room!

I HATE people who talk on their cell phones on the train. I don't mind quick calls like "I'm on the 5:35" or "do you need me to pick up dinner," but whole conversations? No way. I mean, I really don't need to hear you tell your friend about what a prick your boss is (and is that appropriate, really? You never know who's on the train) or relay the story of your dog's irritable bowel syndrome. A woman sat next to me last night who proceeded to have a 15-minute conversation with someone. I have no idea what it was about, because it was in Chinese. And that was annoying too because, let's be honest, Chinese is not exactly a meluflous language.

Another train pet peeve? People who sprawl out over more than 1 seat. I don't mind the 4 guys who play bridge, because really they're just taking up 4 seats. But then there's their audience, on all sides of them, who take up the full bench as they lean over to watch the bridge proceedings. And there used to be a girl who would flip a seat over, spread her things around and eat a full breakfast on top of that. So she essentially had 4 seats for her little solo coffee klatsch. HATE. And the woman who used to flip a seat and then propped her bare feet up across from her. She's physically occupying 2 seats, and then essentially rendering the other 2 seats uninhabitable because, really, who wants to sit next to that?

I Love Anthony Bourdain

I just discovered his Top Chef blog on Bravo's website. I've loved him ever since his rapport with stoner Mikey from Season 2, but these 2 quotes forever seal my love for him:

"What the hell is with Casey's knife skills!? During the Quickfire, I was absolutely gobsmacked watching her methodically sawing away at those onions like Ina Garten on Thorazine. No. Let me correct myself. Ina Garten on Thorazine would be faster. MUCH faster."

"Another good performance from Dale, who continues to impress with his professionalism. When confronted with Madonna's asshat brother, he managed to avoid telling him where he could go with his interior design suggestions and what, exactly, to do with that candelabra. A remarkable display of self-control. I am atwitter with anticipation, wondering what other food world luminaries might share their wisdom with us next week! Joe Piscopo's brother, the landscaper? Mickey Rourke's dog-groomer? This could get really, really good!"

I couldn't have said it better myself. Watching Casey mince onions was painful--I'm a terrible mincer/dicer, but that's why I have a handy-dandy little contraption that does it for me. And calling Madonna's brother an "asshat"? Priceless.

I shoulda had a V-8

Jamba Juice + soy chips + gummi bears = you're lucky you're not in my office right now

Blaker Girl, here

I took the kids to the American Idol concert last night. Yes, they were my beard--I'm a little too old to be a fangirl. The concert was fun, and Blake's "You Give Love a Bad Name" was definitely the highlight. He and Chris R. also did a little beatbox-off that ended with a bar of Sexyback, which was hilarious. T rocked out--he was dancing in our row (when he wasn't stuffing his face with popcorn, Diet Pepsi and cotton candy). H was into it, too, and was pissed that I made her leave early. I wanted to avoid the rush, and since it was only Jordin closing out the show, I didn't feel like we'd miss anything. She was also pissed that Blake did not seem to have that many performances--you and me both, girl. Gina's boyfriend came out on stage and proposed to her (she said yes) which provided a nice "awwww" moment that H got a kick out of.

T lost his first tooth on the way to the concert. The tooth fairy visited last night and left $2. That is the going rate at our house, even if some of their friends are getting Webkinz. Speaking of which, T got his own Webkinz--a cute little frog that he named Flyer. T is a riot with him, and is pretty good at the games. Of course, not as good as his mom. I was playing a pac-man type game the other night--solely to help the kids get Webkinz cash, of course--where a pig eats junk food, and eating vegetables sets him back. What kind of message is that to send our kids? Of course, my kids loved it. A friend of mine is addicted to a Tetris-type game--she, too, plays in the interest of her child--so I gave that a whirl the other day. Sadly, I logged in as one of the kids when they weren't even around. Is this a sign of a larger problem?

Centipedes and the new me

I'm really scared of bugs. Well, not exactly scared, but really grossed out by them. Especially centipedes. Which takes me to my story. I was in my bathroom yesterday, when I saw a giant centipede on the floor. It was at least 2 inches long (not counting antennae). The old me would have completely freaked out and been paralyzed with fear, and then called A to come kill it. The new me--the one who believes in mind over matter and who seems to think she can run a half marathon--decided that I would take charge and kill it myself (plus A wasn't home, so I didn't really have much choice in the matter). First I took a feeble swat at it with a balled-up tissue. Not a good idea. It started to run away and I was so scared it was going to duck into the closet, in which case I would never find it and it would live in my closet, asexually producing hundreds of baby centipedes. Yuck. Lucky for me, centipedes are not very smart and this one ran straight into a corner. So this time, I took an empty baby oil bottle and swooped straight down on it. Unfortunately, the bottom of the bottle was concave in the middle, so the edges of the bottle knocked off a few legs and then that little bugger ran away. Did you know that centipede legs still flail about even if they're not attached to the body? I struck a few more times, knocked a few more legs off (and watched those legs wiggle in place) and then finally got the whole damned thing. I even picked it up with a tissue and disposed of it. This is big for me--once, I trapped a spider under a cup but was too scared to move the cup and kill it, so I left it there until someone braver than me could deal with it. So I feel like a new person.

This new me also cut my toenails (bye-bye cute pedicure) in preparation for my serious training runs.